eightblack, you are truly elevating the humble trip report to an artform. While I sometimes feel sympathy for the lemons life periodically throws at you, I love it when you turn it into lemonade for the rest of us.

BTW, have you ever read David Foster Wallace's travelogues? You might enjoy them as they display the same bemused observations about the quirks and idiosyncracies of everything from cruise ships to State Fairs (something you probably experienced in Nebraska).

I'm glad you and your family made it safe and sound to Denver, even if that means this trip report is shorter than it might have been. I'm still hoping the dog might warrant an addendum, though. Last you mentioned him, he was still cooling his heels in De-Friggin-troit...