Please tell me you are joking.

I think I've only once had the scrambled eggs in First and I thought they were quite good, but that was a long time ago. I don't take F on night flights (did so once and didn't think it was worth it, even with miles) and deliberately avoid the early morning F flights so I can have my breakfast in the CCR and a proper lunch on board - the inability to do this in F is why I no longer take the first flight of the day to New York.