Thanks for the feedback everyone. Here are my observations so far regarding the various hotels mentioned:

Caneel Bay: The beach looks awesome. However the rooms (especially the bathrooms - from the pics on their website) looked terribly dated - in a 70's motel sense. Can someone having been there comment on the rooms?

Carlisle Bay: Looks great. Would that be the hotel to go to vs Jumby Bay if going to Antigua?

O&O Bahamas: Too close to Disneyland...

Eden Rock: Looks great; but to the extent I need to take another flight from St. Martin, I may as well go to PSV... also seems a bit unclear if it would be good with young kids...

Amanyara: Thanks for the additional feedback Kagehitokiri. As much as I said I'd never go back to the T&C, this is probably worth considering given the ease of access to the T&C. Funny though regarding your message from PinPin; I asked a close of friend of mine who visited Amanyara a couple years ago whether he would take his kids - he said no - thought it wouldn't be very kid friendly.

Peninsula House: The hotel looks nice, but it doesn't seem any of the rooms are on the beach. Any other decent options in the Dominican that compare with the best of the Caribbean (and meet my criteria)?