Twenty years ago we always said "lover" within the gay community and our dear friends. Being German, I frequently used and still use the term "partner" since this is commonly used in Germany even among straight couples. My sweetie and I are legally married in Canada but also had to go through a partnership ceremony in Germany which is almost exactly like a straight wedding. Ironically he had to prove that he was not married. So the official had to issue an affidavit stating that he is married to me but the marriage is not recognized in Germany so that he is considered unmarried so that he could "marry" me, i.e. enter into a registered partnership.

Now it's more our younger straight friends that call my sweetie "your husband".