Thanks for everyone's responses. I especially appreciated the insight into how hospitality is understood and expected in Japan.

mjm - We do hope to stay with them for some of the time and are very much looking forward to the experience of staying with a Japanese family. I expect it will be one of the highlights of our trip. The information about small white lies to is something I will keep in mind. I in no way want to offend them, and a reminder about how to interact so everyone saves face is helpful.

dcman2