This is really sad; having to baby sit my reservation, then triple check to make sure that I am on the upgrade list, then keep checking until the door is closed. Neither CO nor UA was like this before the merger. Why has this gotten so out of control?

The OP has the right to be upset. He made a reservation, he paid for it and I am sure they already got their money and he has the expectation that the reservation will be there. He also has the expectation that they will notify him if there are changes, especially significant ones; it is obvious that they know how to get hold of him.