I am humbled by the amount of responses to my initial venting, and how knowledgeable you guys are. Thank you very much.

To answer some of the questions posed to me... Yes I know how to request domestic upgrade and I did for this whole trip. Outbound was cleared, return wasn't. I thought I see AA pilots in uniform and with the little AA insignia. Now I am back home in NYC, after 8+ hours coast to coast travel with a connection in DFW, all in coach, can I swear to god that I saw their badge within 3 feet? No.

On a separate note...

I have flown 30K miles with AA since I flipped over, but only hit it one week after the deadline for 8 SWU challenge. Other than AA's inflexibility to extend the challenge timeline, I have been pretty happy with AA so far. Plat desk in general offers better services than 1K desk. Free upgrades on flagship service vs. UA requires CR-1 for ps flight. Also in most cases it is cheaper. I am used to the $600-1,000 price tag for UA's ps flights, which I take 2-4 times a month. It is a fresh air to be able to get round trip between NYC/SAN at $300+, and BOS/LAX at $250+, despite the fact that I am saving money for someone else. Many people said UA's food is bad, but AA's flagship and UA's ps are comparable.

I do think it is unnecessary to require manual request for domestic upgrade... who doesn't want free upgrade? In addition, UA's economy plus is a better seating than AA's exist row if upgrade cannot be cleared. Just my 2c.