By the time we got our bags back, it was past 2:30 and my friend had yet to clear security. We took the elevator up to departure level. The terminal was a complete mess, with the regular security line snaking around the check in area. I would never do this in a normal situation, but my friend really needed to make this flight as he had to be back at work early the next morning. This was the only non-stop JFK-MSY flight, and per Expert Flyer, there wasn’t anything available to New Orleans even with connections until the afternoon of the following day. So I used my mobile boarding pass, which showed Sky Priority due to my upgrade, and talked the line dragon into sneaking him in the priority line. A minute or so later, I sneaked back out to check my bag, since I had liquids and I had used the expansion feature of my bag, technically making it an “illegal carry-on”. I circled back and used the empty Sky Priority lane to check in.
The counter was womanned by a very cute agent, who seemed to be about my age. I approached the counter with a big smile and as much confidence as I could muster after wearing the same clothes for a few days. She was a pretty big flirt, and we ended having a pleasant conversation for a few minutes before I headed back toward the priority security lane. The line dragon looked puzzled as I was entering the lane for the second time, but let me pass without a question.
I made through security very quickly, so I was able to go say good bye to my friend before he left. His flight was departing out of gate 18, which is just past security. It was certainly memorable trip for both of us, and we have to this again soon.
After he boarded, I was left to figure out what to do for the next 3 hours before my flight left. I was in a desperate need of a shower, and feeling pretty charitable at the moment, so I decided to spring for a Sky Club one day pass. I headed to the club in Terminal 2, as I was departing out of there. On the way, I stopped at kiosk to buy my pass, and was pleased to find a discounted price of $39. Pass procured, I headed to the club which was located above the fast food establishments in the center of the terminal. I presented my pass to the agent who promptly admitted me. She gave me a tour of the lounge, before leading me to the shower room as I requested.
I then realized I had made yet another mistake. Since I was too busy chatting with agent while checking my bag, I had forgotten to grab fresh clothes, like I planned Oh, well. At least the shower will do me some good. Besides, my clothes passed the sniff test. And no one seemed to be shying away from me… Anyways, after a good long shower I nearly flooded the room due the funky drainage patterns in the shower cubicle. It was a bit embarrassing to say the least, I cleaned up my mess as best I could with the available towels, and hurriedly got dressed and hustled out of there.
Feeling like a new person, I headed to the bar to grab a drink and some carrots and celery with hummus and settled down and got some work done for the following week. I picked a quiet corner with some tables and chairs, located in a seemingly older area of the club. While bar and reception areas seemed fresh and new, the shower room and the other seating areas of the club were a bit tired and in need of a makeover. But the club did serve my needs: a quiet comfortable place to sit with access to showers, drinks, and snacks.
Rear seating area of the JFK T2 Sky Club
A little while later, I headed back to the bar for a refill of my scotch and ginger. I was entertained by the bar tender trying hustle away a clearly drunk 30ish guy who was about to fall off his bar stool. The guy couldn’t even answer where he was going. Talk about lushes…though I probably don’t have a lot of room to talk. On the way back, I grabbed some of delicious lemon cookies covered with powder sugar. I really had to control myself, or I would have wiped out the entire jar.
After another hour and a half of work, it was time to go back to hustle and bustle of the terminal. I got to my gate, 23, to find the gate agent looking for volunteers as my flight was oversold. How the flight went from Y7 to oversold in less than 24 hours was beyond me. The offer was for a $300 voucher, hotel for the night, and a non-stop from LGA the next morning. I was tempted as there was one seat in first class available on the LGA flight. But I would miss half a day of work, so I decided against it since I’ve been gone for so long already.
Soon enough, 3 volunteers were found and the boarding process began. First class was called after the pre-boarding. My boarding pass was scanned and I was on my way for the final flight of my big adventure.
DL 3325
New York Kennedy (JFK) – Dallas Fort Worth (DFW)
Sunday August 12, 2012
Depart: 6:35 PM
Arrive: 9:30 PM
Aircraft: Bombardier CRJ-900 (N927XJ)
Seat: 1D (First)
Gate 23 at JFK is designed specifically for regional jet flights. It has several different doorways, with a RJ at each, so make sure you pay attention to which door your aircraft is departing from. For me that night, our aircraft was parked at the very last doorway, which was J.
My ride: N927XJ
My relationship with the CRJs is the same as my relationship with the rival Brazilian family, I hate the little brothers (CRJ-100/200s) but I love the big brothers (CRJ-700/900s). A friendly flight attendant welcomed me on board after I climbed stairs into the aircraft. I quickly stowed my laptop bag in the overhead, and settled into 1D. A few minutes later, a woman, with the worse body odor I have ever smelled, entered the aircraft. I had passed earlier her in the gate area, but I had hoped she was on a different flight. So my next hope was that she would saunter back into coach. Alas, she took up residence in 2D. I had to laugh at the irony of my situation. Here I was wearing the exact same clothes on a Sunday evening that I had worn to work on Friday morning, yet I wasn’t the smelliest person on the plane. Boarding proceeded quickly. It was rather amusing watching each person scrunch up their face as they walked into the cabin. PDBs were anything you wanted. I ordered an orange juice, as it was about time my liver got a little break after the past 4 weeks.
We pushed back a few minutes late. Surprisingly, we were number one for take off without any sort of a wait. After a short take off roll, we were airborne and turning toward the southwest. Our friendly purser came around, after we had leveled taking dinner and drink orders from front to back, without any sort of priority for status. The choices tonight were a Thai chicken salad and a turkey sandwich. I went with the salad, while my seatmate went with the turkey sandwich. It looked a lot worse than my roast beef sandwich I got on my American Eagle flight in July. He just ate the tomatoes off the sandwich and the fruit cup and called it a meal. My chicken salad, on the other hand, was a different story.
The presentation obviously sucked. Seriously, is it really that difficult to unwrap the salad and put the chicken on it before it’s served? It would definitely make it seem more premium. Despite the shoddy presentation, the salad was very good. The dressing was just right: tangy with a hint of spiciness. Carrots and cabbage comprising the salad were fresh and crisp. The chicken was tender, though it tasted a bit process. With the breadsticks, fruit cup, and brownie, it was a very tasty and filling meal. Trays were cleared as soon as each passenger finished, and then I fired up my laptop to work on this TR, while admiring the gorgeous sunset
At that time most of the cabin had finished their meals, and the smell of flatulence began filling the air. Everyone was looking around trying to identify the source, which soon revealed herself: it was the aforementioned lady in 2D. She constantly had to the lavatory, to put it politely, to make a deposit. This continued for the remainder of the flight. Each time she got up, she made it point to grab my seatback, which annoyed me to no end. But I definitely had it much better than the poor chap in 2C. The man had the patience of a saint. He always let the lady get out and had to put up with the offensive odors at close range. I kid you not, the odor got so bad the FAs holed up in the galley to get some relief. To their credit, they did try to make passes in both cabins. You could definitely see the strained smiles on their faces each time they made a pass. Though it wasn’t a pleasant situation, I had to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. And besides, it was kind of a fitting ending to the weekend I just had.
The closer we got to Dallas, the darker the clouds outside got. And soon I could feel the pilots making several course adjustments as lightning streaked through the clouds on both sides of the aircraft. Both our flight crew and ATC did a great job navigating around those large thunderheads, as we didn’t even hit a bump until we were well into our descent. The FA made one last pass through the cabin to collect trash and glasses when we were 20 minutes away from DFW. The lady in 2D made one last dash to the lavatory just before we descended below 10,000 feet. A few minutes after she returned to her seat, a lady and her 5ish year old daughter, whom were seated in the first couple rows of coach, headed into lavatory. They pause for a moment to decide whether or not their situation was bad enough to warrant entering that smelly pit. Strangely, the FAs made no attempt to stop them even though the seatbelt sign was on and were minutes away from landing. The mother and daughter duo did not return to their seats until well after the landing gear was down and locked. Moments later we touched down smoothly on a wet Runway 17R, the same one I had taken off on a week earlier.
We taxied for the next 5 minutes or so and parked at gate E5. There were several other Delta flights arriving at the same time, so we ended up waiting 10 minutes for the jet bridge to be attached, much to chagrin of all of us seated row 1, as we were jockeying for position to be first off to be off the plane. Finally the jet bridge operator showed up and the cabin door was opened, giving us some relief. As soon as the flight attendant gave us the go ahead, the guy sitting in 1C and 1 hauled alpha sierra sierra off the plane, leaving the lady seated in 1A in our wake and nearly running over our captain on the way out. Oh man, did I feel better after I got off the plane.
Baggage claim was just a short walk away. Bags didn’t hit the belt until 30 minutes after we arrived, due to the number of flights arriving at the same time. To make matters worse, Delta only uses one baggage claim at DFW. Talk about a model of inefficiency. When the bags from my flight did finally arrive, I was relieved to see my bag, and as an added bonus it was the first one out. For once, priority tags work on Delta!
MY BAG!
I went out and hailed a cab, and I was finally on my way home, where I would remain grounded until early October. On the ride back, I reflected on the amazing past 4 weeks. I reunited with old friends, made some new friends, and met many interesting people on the way. Quite a few of my aviation geek milestones had been reached, though I still had many more to achieve and even added some new ones along the way. I had set a new monthly BIS record of 29,061 miles and finally circled the globe, on two of the world’s finest airlines to boot. It has been a fantastic journey, but like all good things, it must come to end. I would have never been able to achieve all of this without the help and wisdom of many here on FT. And I thank sincerely thank each one of you.
Well folks, you’ve finally reached the end of nearly 41,000 words of my rambling. If you’re still with me, you deserve a huge pat on the back. Thanks to all of you for reading. I hope you've enjoyed this report as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Now it’s time for me to go back to my real life. Speaking of which, I’ll leave you with a few pics from my real life. Till next time, I wish you all happy trails.
Chicken fried French fries. Yep. True story.
Welcome back to sky high gas prices.