This is a third-party recollection of what somebody else told OP happened. Let's look at this realistically:

1. Lightening on the field means that all ramp workers are ordered off the ramp. The aircraft is well grounded and, while sitting for 2 hours is unpleasant, it's not unsafe. Not sure a UA employee needs to put their life on the line because OP's friend was on the plane.

2. OP's friend got out on the next flight. If there had not been availability, it would have been the flight after and so on. Not sure what OP wants UA to do. If there's no seat, there's no seat. Kick somebody else off.

3. It's simply untrue that there's no food/water at EWR. Maybe OP's friend needed help, but there are always employees & police. If the friend really has no money (including no credit/debit cards), I would be very surprised if someone didn't find her a cup of water.

4. No US carrier provides acommodations for WX-related delays (other than to top tier elites). EU rules don't apply in the USA and with good reason, we don't have nanny silliness. When things go wrong, we're each responsible for our own affairs. Who does anyone think is paying for those "duty of care" acommodations besides every traveler in their ticket. The difference is that in the USA it's part of travel interruption insurance.

Again, something is missing here. Enough sophistication to board a connecting intl. flight, but not to have cash, credit, debit, cell phone, calling card or ability to ask for help?