Originally Posted by medic51vrf

Well and truely before 9/11, I had departed the US on my Australian passport (a mistake on my part) and returned using my American one. The Customs/Imigartation guy looked at my passport and said "How can you be coming back? You never left."

I smiled and said "If this is American and I never left, why are we talking to each other? Shouldn't I be over there?" (pointing to the customs lobby exits) He kind of looked at me for a second with his head literally tilted slightly to the side, and (obviouly putting the whole situation in the "too hard" basket) just said "Welcome home... From wherever." and handed me back my passport WITHOUT even stamping it.