You should offer an explanation that blends in with everybody else. Saying you sell drugs, even as a joke, is terrible. You stand to lose everything in the U.S. since under forfeiture law there is no obligation for the gov't to convict a person of a crime before seizing everything you own. Words out of your own mouth that you sell drugs sounds like probable cause to me.

In some situations, you will be repeatedly approached to loan money, get involved in real estate or business deals, etc. You should have a story ready that slides off the tongue such as, actually, it isn't a good time, as I just bought a house. Or, it isn't a good time, as I just had to put my mom in the nursing home. It's OK to lie to sales people, and once someone hits you up for money, they are not approaching you as a friend, they are approaching you as a salesperson. You don't owe the truth to everybody who walks up with their hand out.

As for your relatives, this is classic "crabs in a bucket" as friends and family may feel you're leaving them behind and they have an automatic instinct to pull you back. You have to have a story for them that is a polite denial of the loan but still doesn't worry them too much. My credit cards are maxed out, is probably the standard little white lie here...