Something I have learned is that when the airport you are transiting through is in chaos it is best not to fly to it not matter the odds of getting your connecting flight. But that is hind sight. Of course if you do get there then be prepared for the chaos.

IMHO my only suggestion would be to dispute the credit card charge for third-party reservation for the hotel that was a mistake.

The rest unfortunately is an expensive lesson. We have them here and and there in our travels.

BTW the take away for me is this comment regarding lounge access "the rest of us were coach and wouldn’t have got in" at that point I would called it a night gone back to airport and asked for complimentary access. Worst case at that point, while not fun I would have slept on the floor at the airport.