Punki

Techgirl writes:

and, sadly that is so true. I can remember when I frist came to FlyerTalk and it is true that when I first came to FlyerTalk it was a much more warm, enabling and welcoming place to be. I knew so very little about the ins and outs of frequent flying and everybody on the boards was so wonderful about helping me learn and make wise choices.

Now there are times when it feels like there is a pack of FlyerTalk attackers just waiting for someone to be "wrong" or make a mistake, so they can jump right in and point out how stupid or what an "idiot" and how wrong they are. It breaks my heart to see FlyerTalk descend to this level.

This all reminds me of conversations with my Father, shortly before his death. When I was a teenager, we learned that my Father had only a few years to live. In part, I am sure, because he wanted to prepare us for life without the guidance and support of a father, and in part because his sensitivity to his true values was heightened by the clear knowledge that his days were very numbered, he began to share his wisdom with us at every opportunity.

One of my most treasured memories is a conversation we had about the choices we had with our days. Dad told me that, while we will have rare days that are inherently tragic (marked perhaps by the unexpected death of a loved one) or days that are inherently joyful (for instance the day of the birth of a new child), on most days, how happy or how unhappy we will be is controlled solely by our own personal decisions about how we want to spend that day. He went on to say that whether you choose happiness or misery, you are stuck with your own choices and you are guaranteed that if make a bad choice (or a good choice for that matter), you won't get a rerun.

When we are little children and sometimes even during the trials and tribulations of our teenage years, we sometimes lash out when we are hurt or angry with even more hurt and anger, creating a vicious circle of misery; but as we grow older and develop greater maturity, we become more and more empowered to control our responses--do we decide to spread misery or do we decide to spread joy? When we see someone with a weakness, do we choose to do everything we can to empower them or do we attack them and........

And what??? Exactly what, I am wondering when I see attacks on FlyerTalk, is the goal? Do the attackers hope to destroy the other person, beat them down, make them miserable, drive them away from FlyerTalk altogether? Deriving pleasure from hurting others is dangersously close to torture and is an activity that is probably even more destructive to the psyche of the "attacker" than it is to that of the "attackee". Attacks offer unhappiness to all and they have no redeeming value.

How much better it is for everyone when we decide to be the one who always looks for an opportunity to spread some joy and help others when we see them in need, rather than to try to beat them down even further.

I love FlyerTalk and am thrilled with he wonderful assortment of friends whom I have met here over the years and continue to meet--two new ones in the past week.

I hope we can all focus on the truly unique and wonderful opportunity that Randy has provided us to enrich our lives with new friends from all around the world, and leave the pettiness, bickering and unpleasantness to other websites.