Well, Oranjestad is the only real "city" in Aruba and there is a small, local bar called Jimmy's Place a short walk from the heart of town:
http://www.jimmysaruba.com/
Oranjestad is a 10 min or so drive from Eagle and Palm Beaches, where most of the hotels and resorts are located...it's a quick drive or taxi from the hotels.
Otherwise, I've visited 4 or 5 times and have always found the island to be gay friendly.