You can only see the upgrade list after you check in T-24. The amount of available FC seats has nothing to do with at window upgrades, it's all about how much V/X inventory they are listing for the flight. If there is V/X inventory available FO's and non status companions usually clear at the same time.(2 days before flight, non status clearing after all FO's.) Since you are on the same PNR, in this instance you will have the same upgrade priority as her(non status companion) and you will only clear after all other FO's have first.