Well, I can't get enough of this thread.

Been thinking as this total gong show continues, and the OP continues to fight their battle by reiterating their initial point, that the following may be true:

1) If the OP ever has a real issue, they may hijack the plane and fly it into the local SPCA.
2) OP's gf may have had intestinal problems from the Mexican food, and was passing off the odour on the dog (sorry, but this was too easy when you brought it up this late in your complaint - there is something poopy about the situation).
3) The true purpose of passenger aircraft may have been lost forever.
4) I should really take my cat with me, only when I have been upgraded to J. Not when I am in paid J, as that would not irk the rest of the pax nearly as much.
5) hsolo, if refering to the h. solo of Star Wars fame, is no where near as steely in his/her resolve as their namesake.