Won't help you with this trip, but for future you could reason with your employer that while you understand that new times don't allow F/J tickets, a little extra for good coach seats would be reasonable. Presumably if you have to pay to check a bag, that is reimbursed, as are hotel, taxi and food expenses. Try to get this one treated similarly.

Not sure why your wife can select some seats and you can't. Try calling AA. Often their agents can do things we can't. Can you buy your own tickets and get reimbursed?