DUCT TAPE FOREVER, the long awaited Red Green epic, will surely satisfy those for whom a mere 22-minutes each week just doesn’t deliver enough fullfilment. For the price of admission, which in Canada can be as little as a box of the right type of Post breakfast cereal, one is treated to the equivilent of four episodes: 88+ minutes! [And in this case, the Canadian minute runs the same 60-seconds as the U.S. minute.] True, Red is no Mick Dundee, but both men serve as apt stereotypes revealing the darker underside of the psyches of their respective nationals which each purports to represent. No brawn or bravado up here in the Great White North -- well no snow in this movie, so I suppose it’s really the Great Green North -- just inate intelligence as Red seeks innovative ways to get he and nephew Harold through the convoluted plot. [Penned by Steve Smith, the film is directed by stallwart veteran Canadian lensman, Eric Till.]

By now, the storyline should be well known to all Red Green fans: The Possum Lodge is threatened after Chapter 11 of the Order loses a rigged court case and must come up with $10,000 to pay the fine, or forfeit the lodge and the property onwhich it sits. Lose it to a scheming developer who wants to turn it into a luxury all-women’s spa! [Oh, the indignity of just the thought...]

Of course, finding $10,000 within 10-days -- Harold successfully argues in the judge’s chambers that raising this amount in the original 30-days she has ordered would be impossible, so the judge [played by one of Canada’s top stage actresses, Fiona Reid] obligingly revises the time line so they don’t waste a whole month trying to do the impossible. Feeling quite bad about how his efforts had backfired, Harold tries to redeem himself by informing his uncle, and the other Lodge members, that they could enter the big 3M Duct Tape Sculpture Contest held each year in Minneapolis|St.Paul. [Talk about your product placement, eh.] And it is conincidentally being held “next week”. First prize is $25,000, second $15,000, and third $10,000. Being typical Canadians, Red and company aim their sights appropriately, and go after third place. Actually, they’re not quite as stupid as they first appear, afterall this is real [read: American] money they are competing for, so the change alone, after they pay the court fine, will still buy enough Molson’s to make for a very happy summer...]

And so, the road trip begins. Well, actually, the film starts at about this point, as the guys spend the weekend making the largest duct tape Canada Goose extant, but is constructed -- the movie, not the goose -- in an intricate [for Red Green afficianados] series of flash backs and flash forwards, Red himself narrating to keep us on track lest we get too confused. Red and Harold are also being followed by a corrupt county sheriff and his bodacious-looking deputy, who attempt to stop our valiant heroes mid-trip several times. But of course, in Keystone Cops fashion, they only manage to ball things up further for themselves, and the evil developer. But be warned, in this movie, Harold becomes a man in several ways, with the deputy leading him deep into the valley of temptation... [By the way, we don’t really have sheriffs like this in Canada -- I don’t mean bodacious females -- but as law enforcement, Smokey and the Bandit-types. Up here, they just deliver summonses and enforce court orders, which is definitely not what these two are doing in this film. But this is fiction, no?]

To get too involved in the plot would leave little to your imaginations, and less to look forward to on the screen. Suffice to say there is an explosive climax scene involving Harold getting it off, but I won’t reveal what exactly he does get off.

For American followers of Possum Lodge exploits, the townsfolk will be of interest, since they are most all cast from among local PBS station contest winners. [Who says Steve Smith doesn’t know how to save money? Lots of townsfolk filling key scenes, but no extras to pay!] For Canadians, there are a number of cameos of familiar personalities who are otherwise unkown south of the line. Rompin’ Ronnie Hawkins -- he created the band which became The Band, as his backup players when doing gigs on Yonge Street in the 60s, and before the boys ventured over to New York state and met Bob -- plays a grizzled gas bar attendant. Dave Broadfoot brings his Sgt Renfrew of the RCMP to the big screen for the first time after decades on CBC radio and television. But for some reason, he is subbing for an Immigration Officer working on the Canadian side of the Canada|US border, albeit in his red Mountie outfit. [Road sign: “USA, 500-meters Firearms Welcomed”] And then there is the whole crew of the Royal Canadian Air Farce -- who follow THE RED GREEN SHOW every Friday night on the CBC -- hanging out in the greasy spoon where a clever Red once more outsmarts the corrupt sheriff, while Harold flashes furtive glances at the deputy.

And of course, there is Ranger Gord, now residing in an isolated and hitherto long abandoned rural railway station, having burned down his previous home in the ranger tower. But they are all there, all the Lodge regulars in varying degrees of participation: from the purloined truckload of 3M Duct Tape [supplied by guess who?], to the master of the sump pump...

I can’t say the rest of the audience laughed as much as I did, or at the same things that I found funny. I can’t say, because there were no other people in the 250-seat threatre for the noon showing! Sigh, but I am sure business will pick up when people get out of work. And the suburban and small town cinemas will certainly draw a good weekend crowd. And do remember to sit through the credits, because their is a very deep, philosophical thought as Red comes back onto the screen for a reflective out take.

As for a bootlegged copy, I am off to SEAsia next week, so will have a look for the DVD in the street markets. In the meantime, I am sure PBS stations will be setting up runs in reg cinemas across the lower 48, and Alaska where there are sure to be many character similarities. [Not sure about Hawaii, we'll have to ask Sylvia.]