I've actually done a whole paper on these ebonics during college and my contention is that when it is self-used in a non-derogatory way, it's almost always a self-empowerment purpose.

Comparison: The "N" word used by black people. African-Americans sometimes use this word to address each other and themselves, but few people who are not black can now be heard saying this word.

Same for the term "F-A-G". I don't prefer the word, personally, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily bad.

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When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.

- Leonardo da Vinci