Y’all aren’t as stoopid as I gave you credit for. I hate to drop a dime on myself, but: In a galaxy far, far away, when I was young(er) and ignorant(er)....The time: 1981. The place: England. Idiot friend Matt and I were flying to Israel, and dutifully got to the airport two hours early only to find that the flight was at 0751, not 7:51 p.m. (1951 hrs), having not yet figured out military time. Near broke, we slept at the airport and flew out the next morning, feeling very lucky indeed to get seats.

So far, I declare myself in the lead for the grand prize.