.....and only 24 hours to prepare for this life-changing experience!!!! Our corporate travel service and HR department have a lengthy de-sensitization service, called the Y-Survivors Club. (Your short flight qualifies you at Silver level, maybe Gold if you suffer in a middle seat further back than row 20.)

Traveling in Coach is treated like a posting to a foreign land. To help you learn the language, you receive the latest National Enquirer and People magazines, plus podcasts of Rush and Hannity. The hope is that you'll be able to make some conversation with the natives in Coach-land, feel comfortable as time passes more slowly further back in the plane.

Of course, it's important to look like you fit in. HR keeps a supply of baseball caps from various cities for you to wear. It is also suggested that you remove medallion bag tags, Rolexes and any tie/scarf which costs more than the discount coach fare of your flight.

Optional, but recommended are stickers with a "Samsonite" logo sized to fit over Tumi and B&R logos.

Upon arrival, please go to the Sky Club where a conference room has been booked for an hour with a trained counselor with experience treating PF-PTSD (post-flight post-traumatic stress disorder). Upon successful completion of this program, corporate travel service will be notified that you are now qualified to fly on Southwest.