On my last deep discount domestic flight there was no personal butler service at all, and when I shouted imperiously at the lacky (who wasn't very good looking, I'd have had him taken out back and shot before take off) to get me a Fanta, he said they didn't have any.

It's not like they couldn't have landed and got me some - it's quite popular in Leeds, and they even have a Harvey Nichols now, so its not as Third World as once was the case.

Anyway, I am disgusted and will be writing to Sir Michael about it.

I WILL NEVER FLY BRITISH AGAIN!!!!!