If you’ve never been on a private jet, an empty upper deck of a Lufthansa 747 comes pretty close. Ok, so I had to share it with someone in 82C, but he was one of those boring HON circle types that slept, ate, and kept to himself throughout the flight.

I should warn you that this is going to be a long installment, and one with many pictures. Partly because even I was almost completely satisfied, and partly because everything goes downhill from here. Seriously. I’m going to hide from the world and never show anyone my face ever again, let alone post pictures online!

Now where were we? Ah yes, the sanctity of the FCL, where I was finishing up a Skype conversation with my mum. I hadn’t heard from the folks in two weeks of travel, and while I was pleasantly surprised they hadn’t called in to check, I was starting to think they’d forgotten I existed. As it turned out, they hadn’t. Not after my dad received the credit card bill, anyway.

I marched across the terminal to gate B 28. The original gate was B 25, but there was a last minute swap, and now my boarding pass has an ugly scribble all over it. I’ll probably have to fly LH First again to get a pristine boarding pass for my collection (and why on earth do they number the seats from 81? Whatever was wrong with 1 A/K and so forth?)



Enter the aircraft to be greeted by an FA who wishes me an enjoyable flight and sends me up the stairs, which lead up to the First galley. I take one look at Mr. 82C and know the cabin is mine! A couple of FAs are busy in the galley. They smile, but don’t immediately come to check my boarding pass. Good, they believe that I belong here.

One of the FAs (who did the service in the cabin throughout the flight) comes over and asks if I’d like a drink (champagne!). I’m not quite sure what the other FA did actually. I only saw her walking up and down the aisle throughout the flight, though every time she did so, without fail, she had this bright, happy smile on her face. The kind that would be uplifting when you’re stuck in the middle in Economy with nothing to do for 9 hours because there are no PTVs.

Yea about that. Wasn’t it Lufthansa that was complaining about Emirates stealing their market share between India and the US or something? Did it occur to them that actually giving people something to do for 9 hours might encourage them to fly the airline, and that maybe, just maybe, it was the hard product and not free petrol that were causing them all this trouble. And to be perfectly honest, EK’s First product is much nicer than Lufthansa’s (on this aircraft, anyway). Take a look at this TV screen for example. It’s the First TV. Strangely, Business Class had bigger ones. For which the FA was profusely apologetic. But like she said, “they don’t get caviar, and they don’t get me!”



I want to get my opinion of the hard product over with, because it really wasn’t a lot to write home about. Having two seats to yourself (well, 8 in my case), is great, but otherwise the seat doesn’t go completely flat, and there’s not much privacy. The great thing though is that the meal tray not only slides forward, but angles away creating enough space for the passenger to leave their seat even while the table is laid out. I hate getting trapped inside.

Once my glass of Laurent Perrier 2000 had been served with some nuts, the goodies started to arrive. Slippers, socks, an amenity kit, and a Van Laack sweater. That’s right, sweater, no PJs. Wouldn’t it be silly to fly halfway across the world and only get one set of PJs? I thought so too!
“Would you happen to have some pyjamas? Err.. I put mine in the checked-in bag by mistake.”
“Sorry sir, not on this flight. They’re only offered on the return as it’s an overnight flight.”
“So you have them onboard…”
“Yes, but if they only have 8 and the flight back is full I’m afraid I can’t give you a pair, but let me check.”
And bingo, 2 minutes later, I had a pair of pyjamas. This time, I even took a photo. And I know what you’re thinking – LH has terrible lighting in their lavatories.




Once we’d taken off, I did my customary stroll of the aircraft. F was 2/8, C was only 32/80 but Y was completely full. The way it should be, unlike all my previous F flights! Safely ensconced in 83C again (well, technically I was sitting in 83A), I proceeded to lay claim to the entire row of seats in the cabin. Here’s how it worked. 83A was my TV and dining seat. 83C was for clothes, personal items and such. 83K is where I had my bed made up so I could sleep as and when I pleased. And 83H was the backup seat. In case I needed to sit down between moving seats, or one of the other seats went kaput. Or if I just felt like sitting in a different seat. See the pictures below.





Once I was settled, it was time for lunch. Don’t read the following if you are currently hungry. It will probably make you salivate, and it will probably also take a very long time to read. Go, grab yourself a snack, and then come back and read the next post.