I’m pretty sure Zurich airport was designed by a watchmaker from Geneva. It seemed to have more complications than a master grand tradition or whatever fancy names they have for $100k timepieces. When I eventually made it to a check in area, I asked if I could get rid of my bags, as I was spending the day in Zurich. Walk up to the front of the queue and there’s an agent idle at a counter. She doesn’t call me over, so I walk up to her asking if the counter is open. Shock and horror when she realizes I’m flying Business, and she can’t polish her nails anymore. And then I make it to the Swiss First Lounge where the dragon sends me off to an arrivals lounge in some dark corner of the airport. It has showers, though I’m sure the ones at homeless shelters in Monaco are better appointed.

Fast forward through a day of ogling at well dressed people in Zurich, and I’m back at the airport. This time, it’s the Swiss Business Lounge. The food offering included pasta in tomato sauce (made with two ingredients – pasta and sauce) and … nothing else. I’m cursing loudly at everyone around me, because for the first time on this trip, I have to use a lounge with other people around. Including people that are younger than me.

I guess to some extent, it is more common to see young people in premium cabins in Asia and especially in the Middle East. In Europe, one stands out like a sore thumb among a sea of suited business types, so I did get enough stares, despite being at the world’s crappiest lounge.

Things didn’t really improve with the actual flight. I’m not quite sure what value people who pay $1000 for a 90 minute flight get out of a Business Class product that doesn’t work. There was no priority boarding. The business class seats are a joke. I had to actually sit next to someone because of the 2-3 layout, and baggage took forever. The food was nice, but that’s about the only thing that differentiated this flight from a flight on Germanwings I took a week later.

Ok, you’re probably wondering what on earth I was doing flying an LCC (at least it wasn’t Ryanair) but this was the only option on the route I wanted to fly. And for an extra 7 Euros, I could preselect 1F, with 3 seats to myself, a mile of leg room, and no queues anywhere. I did have to wake up at 4 am because the flight was at some absurd hour, but I was prepared to live in different time zones for every day of this trip anyway!

I sort of hate short flights, despite all this effort to maximize sectors. They’re usually crowded, on small planes, and with a terrible hard product, and no time to enjoy the flight. Flying Lufthansa on a 737 on a 40 minute hop from Brussels to Frankfurt only served to enforce that opinion. The effort of getting to the airport, spending time in an SAS lounge where internet access is restricted to one coupon for one hour per customer (lucky for them I only had 40 minutes to kill at the lounge), and then waiting for 20 minutes for boarding to complete while seat shifters move around the cabin is annoying. Private jet please.

Though when flying commercial, there’s always the fun of seeing people’s jaw drop. I walk up to the Lufthansa check in area at Brussels which is manned by a desk before you can get to the counter.
‘I’m flying to Frankfurt today.’
Silence.
‘Do you want my passport or something?’ gesturing towards the two lines behind them that say Business/ Economy.
‘Sir you need to first self check in at this machine and then drop your bag at the counter’
‘No. Why do I have to use a machine?’
‘That’s the procedure sir, everyone has to do it’
‘But I have a complicated itinerary. And I’m flying Business Class.’ I don’t do self check in machines when I’ve paid $$$ for someone to exchange pleasantries with me while clicking away at a computer.
‘Oooooooh you’re flying Business Class. Right this way sir, straight to the counter’
And then while the check in agent thought I was crazy because of where I wanted to check in my bags to (you’ll find out soon), there were a couple of people stuck behind a huge group in the Economy line who were going to miss their flight.

The flight was quite uneventful. They actually manage to do all announcements in French, German and English, and hand out coffee and cake, though not the kinds I was able to enjoy in Amsterdam. Frankfurt Airport is quite a hell hole, but just as a teaser, I paid a quick visit to the First Class Terminal. Where the staff were extremely helpful, addressing me by name and offering a drink even though I’m only eligible to use the lounge tomorrow. I’m really looking forward to my flight tomorrow!