I find this surprising. While I do find NY lacks in some arenas (good indian food, a good tangine) I think NY's quality and breadth surprass many other cities. The only other city that is in same tier (in US) is San Francisco, but I haven't spent a lot of time in San Francisco or Chicago. I moved from NY 1.5 years ago in full disclosure
My favorites over the years:
Sushi: Masa ($$$$), Sushi Yasuda (although Yasuda returned to Tokyo), and cheap near me I went to Mizu.
Other Japanese: Sake Bar Hagi for japanese pre-theater dive.. cheap/under the radar
Indian: I don't like Taramind (prices not justified IMHO), but no great indian in NY really. I often ate cheap indian.. Saravana Bhavan for South Indian.. Haandi or Roomali for taxi-driver eats.. there are few decent indian places popping up but i can't comment at all without eating there recently.
Delis: Katz Deli (corned beef & pastrami), Barney Greengrass (old deli), or find nice bagel place near you that you like. I ate at pick-a-bagel as near work.
Steak: Strip House, Wolfgangs (controversial choice), Del Friscos (lunch menu is reasonable price, I don't like going generally given biz crowd), Minetta Tavern is still on my to-go list. BLT Prime has great gread but steaks too $$$. I used to go to Raouls in Soho for Steak Au Poivre.
Burger: So many options. My favorite is JG Mellons (its binary), then the usual suspects (shake shack but i wouldn't wait in line for it, burger joint, blue smoke). Minetta Tavern supposedly quite good.
Pizza: So many options for different styles. I don't know about deep dish but a variety of places will fill this need... do your reasearch.. dont' go to just the trendy! With all the competition, the pizza will be good. Don't go to Famous Rays VIII vs. say a Pizza Fresca or Motorino (or whatever other style you fathom).
11 Madison was a special occassion place for me (among others)
Caracas Arepas Bar (an east village fast food type... yum)
I'm not huge seafood, but for mediterraean fish I like Milos Estiatorio (decent lunch deal.. dinner is pricey) and Avra. Oyster Bar in Grand Central (I like the lobster roll, but I know that's an arguable). Once went to Le Bernandin and though it was quite good.
Unf no great jamaican in NY, the jerk at the Jamaican Dutchy street cart is good..
Italian: All sorts of price ranges. I much prefer Babbo over Lupa, Scarpetta (which I thought "meh"), but this is all controversial. Little Italy is a tourist trap.. do the research. I liked ballatos on Houston, but not as special as it once was... that was my hole-in-wall go to. Many great italian options, just do research...
Ippudo for ramen
Tapas... is Casas Mono still around? (have a drink at Bar Jamon next door to warm up)
Per Se.
Momofuku
BBQ: Hill Country or Dinosaur
I read recently of many new restaurants coming to NY too.. Cafe Pushkin being one example.
So many options...
What I suggest you do is do research. NY is fit for foodies. DOZENS of threads on chowhound for "upper east side".. you can even narrow it down or post your own thread ("upper east side sushi", or "romantic", "burger", etc.). And DOZENS of foodie blogs that are NY centric (slice.seriouseats.com is but one of many NY pizza blogs.. to be clear I don't agree with all of Slice's reviews... there is a hype component there.. but you can find new ideas here).
Chowhounds manattan board:
http://chowhound.chow.com/boards/18
Sample of recent threads from just Page 1 (of thousands)!
"lunch at Marea, best meal of 2011 with photos"
"Mini-review: Ping's Seafood still pretty solid"
"Hunan Manor: real Hunanese in Murray Hill?"
"Recommended Italian Restaurant for <$50?"
For service related issues.. I won't disagree with you here. Having lived in California the folks are generally nicer and more friendly. Folks in NY are definitely not as nice as my experience in California. But that never bothered me really.. I went for the food usually
For an interesting street cart event that was low-key till only recently
http://streetvendor.org/vendys/tickets
Only VIP tickets left though