I believe going to a college, even a special college, would make you ineligible to work for TSA. The more inane you are the better.

Your Costco card was clearly something they could recognize. At least it had a photo, when I produced a Nexus card, it got rejected and the only thing that they would accept was a credit card with (only a portion of) my name on it. No picture, even.

As for utensils, they probably do not use them, in fact, they either chew with their mouth open or don't chew their food at all. You can see I think very highly of our the top notch security team keeping our skies safe!