The OP is right to be angry and upset. Of course, as some of you have pointed out there were better options out there for her (listen to the expats in Shanghai, travel *A which has more NA options, etc.) but the fact is that she did receive shoddy treatment from AA.

One poster stated that the CSR on the phone was wrong and OP could have changed her tickets for a total of $500, and departed from ORD rather than return to CLT (cost of $600 plus travel time, not easy with any 3 year old let alone a special needs one). If the CSR had been properly trained all the rest of the stuff the OP endured would have been moot points. For me this is the bottom line, and why AA bears responsibility.

It sounds like a nightmare. I'd like to see how any of the posters who criticized or displayed zero sympathy for the OP go through the same experience while keeping their chin up.