- United has way more flights in and out of Shanghai. And, if you are going through ORD anyway you want to be on United. Then it's US Airways to CLT.

- You could pay a little bit more for Economy Plus on United which is worth it traveling with a special needs child. If you do this trip a lot, stick to one airline and then use your miles for upgrades.

- American's CSR rep was wrong - you could have changed your routing on your return (missing the first leg of your flight) but it would have cost you $250 per ticket). But, in general, if you miss the first leg of your trip your whole itinerary is cancelled.

But, like previous posters said, unfortunately things go wrong but usually not to the extent that you experienced.