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So I'm proud of Malaysia Airlines for banning kids under 2 in first class. I've taken Laszlo on the business-class section of a flight, and it was a horrible thing to do to other passengers. I've also taken him on the economy section of a flight, and that was a horrible thing to do to those passengers too. But they were poor passengers, so they deserved it.

The reason I took my baby with me on business class is that airlines have a crazy rule that instead of paying for another seat, you can put a kid under 2 on your lap for an entire domestic flight. They won't let you keep your purse on your lap during takeoff and landing, since it might turn into a deadly projectile, but an infant is apparently soft enough to ricochet harmlessly off passenger after passenger. Once his skull ossifies over his soft spots, he's got to buckle up.

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It turns out business class is awesome for babies: they tire themselves out running around the airline's business-class lounge, and on the plane they can't reach the seat in front of them with their feet, there's more stuff attached to the armrest to play with, the aisles are wider for them to stumble through, and there are fewer people to hear them cry.