Thanks for all the advice and tips.
I'm comfortable in negotiations once I know what is reasonable and what's unreasonable. I am a little concerned with being that potential customer that wants the moon on a stick and ends up being written off as hopeless before things even get rolling, so I want to be sure I know what is a reasonable request before I walk in the door. I guess there is no hard-and-fast rule of thumb. I'm also a little concerned about starting the process too early; as chgoeditor points out, hotels may feel more generous if tourist season sucked, which may be a factor in my 2012 quotes being higher than the rates posted on the hotel website for the same room, same weekend in 2011: it's been hot as blazes in DC all summer and we haven't gotten the steady stream of tourists that we usually see. So by booking too early, I risk missing out on some deals just because nobody knows what the future holds, and by booking too late I risk missing securing a block entirely.
It doesn't help that my goals are very ambiguous like "get a good value for my guests." I've polled a few folks and all seem happy with "whatever" for price range but I'd feel horrible to think of my friends having to cough up $229 a night for a room. I know most of them will find a way to afford it but that it would be easier if that price came down. And DC is not a cheap hotel city (sending the group to the 'burbs will introduce so much complexity that I just shudder at the thought).
So my criteria/wish list would be:
-Central location reasonably close to Metro (which leaves only about a zillion choices, and would make it far easier for guests to come without having to rent a car but still get around easily for sightseeing and etc)
-Target pre-tax price of $150/night although realistically this can go to $175 or even higher; I don't think the difference of $25-50 a night is going to make anyone not come to our wedding
-Bar and restaurant on premises (I don't think I can budge on this one; folks will be arriving at all times of day/night, with kids and elderly folks in tow, and they shouldn't have to order a pizza or walk 8 blocks to find dinner)
-Complimentary wi-fi for the guests or at a minumum, a comp for *some* of the guests (the Aussies and the Brits won't have cellular data unless they're willing to pay the ungodly International roaming charges)
-Complimentary breakfast for the guests, at least for the day of and day after the wedding (I understand the hotel might not want to give this to everyone, every day, if they are staying a full week) OR a very good price on a brunch the day after the wedding, that I could cover
Now, if the wi-fi and breakfast is free, then I think everyone will see value even if the price goes up a bit, but the closer we get to the $200-and-up range, the more reluctant I get.
Discount on parking is probably not worth negotiating to me as we are going to encourage people not to rent cars; the Brits and Aussies don't need to be driving on the wrong side of the road in what many find to be a confusing city, the American out-of-towners can skip the expense of the rental car; and everyone can take the subway or taxis.
And here is my moon-on-a-stick request, which I completely DO NOT expect to have filled: a shuttle bus for the day of the wedding. None of the downtown DC hotels that I checked have any shuttle services, and I've checked about 25 so far. Shuttle services are only offered in the suburbs. The wedding ceremony is in Old Town Alexandria. I had considered picking a hotel closer to the ceremony but the DC location I think will work better as most folks are already planning on doing some sightseeing; keep them in VA and they have to get an expensive taxi every day or take the Subway (which isn't that close to the wedding venue anyway). So I'd rather keep them in DC where they can easily do the tourist thing, and figure out how to get them, without cars, to the ceremony/reception. I'm already planning on chartering a mini-bus but if I can get a hotel to provide that, it would absolutely influence my decision.
So what on here is reasonable and what should I just forget about? And do you think I am looking too soon?