First, the only reason this program got funding is because they came up with a cool acronym which seems to over-impress a lot of Washington types.

Any reasonably decent profiler is already or will be employed by better agencies like the FBI, CBP proper or even NYPD. A 5-day program is laughable.

I'll just say it, a college degree is no longer a significant indicator of one's abilities, especially in my profession.

I don't think anyone needs to be confrontational in this situation since the process, and the person, will probably be easily frustrated by a little TMI.

My plan:

- “Where have you been?”
- [chuckle] "My [wife|husband] asks me that all the time, I swear, I was just playing golf. You probably don't believe me either but some courses are lit at night and if you use enough sunscreen, you don't show anything at all. And really, I know they say 2 hours before departure but that's an awful long time to sit at an airport."

- “Do you have a business card?”
- [blank ponderous stare] [begin rummaging through my carry-on] "I think so, I mean I'm supposed to. They keep sending me new ones but I always forget them." [methodically searching various compartments] "This is embarrassing, I'm glad I'm not traveling with the boss today. I really thought I grabbed some new ones last week..." [double check the obvious locations]

- “Where are you traveling?”
- "Now or today? I think I'm connecting but it's different every week. What was last week? Oh, where did I get dinner, then I'll remember where it was. Dang it, it's right there on the boarding pass. Which one did I give you? I have the other one here somewhere. Oh, here it is, %LAX%, but I'm actually going somewhere nearby, don't really remember where, there are so many little towns. Are you from that area? What's there to do?"