Originally Posted by TXagogo

Hi folks - I hope all is well.

I just went through Terminal A security at IAH. I have made an entry at tsastatus.net as well. Here is my overview:

1. Document clerk immediately asked for my full name which I expected after having read the Houston thread. My exact words were "I usually pronounce it as {name} for those who have trouble reading." She replied in a very friendly manner that some names are difficult and how she hates to mispronounce people's names. I responded in a sarcastic tone "Yes, I'm sure that's exactly the case". She then smiled and said in a friendly tone, "Some people just hate it when their name is mispronounced". And I responded, "Some people just hate it when they are asked for information that is clearly right in front of them." She then decided the lies and smiles weren't working and said in a less friendly tone "It's security protocol, sir". I replied "Maybe your lies will work on someone else", snatched my BP, and walked away. I think she was shocked. Older woman.

2. Very few people in line but all were sent to the MMW. As I was moving my belongings toward the X-Ray a clerk said "do you have anything in your pockets, sir" to which I replied "I don't go through the nudie machines so call one of yer buddies over here to touch me". I stepped through and waited about 1 minute or less.

3. Extremely friendly guy came over and seemed to go out of his way to want to help. He smiled, asked which bags were mine, told me how quick this would be, carried my things to the chair, etc... He talked non-stop and I got the impression he was somewhat nervous. Before he said another word at the grope station I said "I wanna see new gloves right from the box". He graciously complied and even sterilized his hands first. He said "you seem like you've been through this before (laughing)" and I said "Sure have and I know the entire routine." He said "So you don't need the whole spiel?" I said "Not unless you plan on touching my testicles." He looked shocked and decided he better give the spiel to cover himself. I hummed and looked around while he talked and made it a point of ignoring him.

His grope was fast and pretty simple but that does not make it OK. He said "I'm pretty good at this cause I must have done thousands of them by now." I replied "If everyone loves the scanners so much as your agency constantly claims, then why are you doing so many gropes?" He gave some lame answer and realized he'd said the wrong thing.

After the swab was negative he asked if he could help me organize my bags as I got my stuff together. I replied, "Sure, might as well work for yer $10/hour." He organized by bags on the table and said have a nice day to which he did not get a response. I gotta hand it to him, he was good at staying calm because I can be a total prick-er when I wanna be!