Snob flies Thai Coach
(Chickens-out halfway)

Or

SARS makes luxury travel so affordable

Or

TG offers sleeper seats in coach

This is long.
This is not politically correct.

Being an avid traveller and fantasy traveller through the web, I think up some pretty exciting virtual vacations. I'm addicted to reading the message boards here and after discovering Bidding for Travel and the infamous Sheryl, I keep up with things AND prices!
I had some time off from work which I needed to take before July or I would lose it. Having just bought a new condominium, I was supposed to put all my cash into my new place. I had the time off, but felt I should do something more than just stay home. Oh the struggle! I can't spend any money! BUT I CAN'T STAY HERE!
Last year I was tempted to go snorkelling in Sharm el Sheik lured by $120 introductory rates at the new Four Seasons. I looked into that again, but the flights were not so convenient or cheap. The hotel rates were still low, though, due to the war. I also thought about Turkey, Istanbul and/or Cesme, because I stumbled across a $85 rate incl. 2 meals at the Sheraton there. Good deal! So I read on Fodors Travel Talk and Lonely Planet Thorn Tree about those places but my mind started wandering further afield...... Morocco...... Asia.......Asia? SARS? .........Thailand---- not so much talk about that. Well I logged on to Opodo.de and typed in MUC-HKT and got a fare of Euro 472 including a stopover in BKK. Good fare. EXCELLENT FARE!! Hmmm........So I checked on my Priceline bid report sites and something hit me like a comet: 5 STAR BKK Shangri La 30 GBP. WHAT?????????? I don't know if you are like me, but if I can't stay somewhere nice, I'd rather not go, AND I WANT TO GET THE BEST DEAL! I'll spend a lot on travel, but I will still research everything and try to pay the best price. I guess it's pride, I hate overpaying!
Well then, 30 Pounds for the Shangri La. I can definitely stay there. But what about Phuket? People had reported the JW Marriott Beach Resort for HKD $400, so I researched that. First of all, what was 400 HKD? 44 EUR. EXCELLENT! What were people saying about the Marriott? I read all that I could find and thought again, "I can stay there, too." Hmm.... two 5 star hotels with once in a life time prices and a good airfare. A good airfare....... a good economy airfare........ a good COACH AIRFARE?????!!!!!!!!!!! What? I haven't flown coach on a flight that long in about ten years. Oh my gosh, what am I going to do? NO WAY!!! It's 11 hours to BKK from Munich. Coach is sub-human. How do the airlines get away with it? What about human rights?? Greenpeace- don't they know??? I'm sure if Princess Diana had known about it she would have led a crusade, just like the one she had against land mines. WIPE OUT COACH! BAN BAD PITCH!
OK, so how much were business fares to BKK? 1500 EUR -also very good. BUT IT'S TOO EXPENSIVE FOR ME RIGHT NOW!! Boo-hoo. Pout-pout. I flip-flop in my mind for days. This is such a good deal I can't let it slip away, but coach? What am I going to do?
I resolved that I am a spoiled brat and investigate further. I found out that TG has about the best coach pitch available. 1 point. I use “check my trip” to see how full the flight is. Pretty empty. DUH! Why did I think the fares and hotels were dirt cheap. 2 points. I start to develop a strategy. If I can get the 4 middle seats I can lie down, and that is better than business class. I was on a mission----OPERATION "I CAN FLY COACH AND STAY IN 5 STAR HOTELS FOR NOTHING"
Now to begin-- I log on to Priceline HK and get the Mariott Phuket for HKD 400. YEA!! (of course my first bid was 350-just to test the water- no go.)
Now Priceline UK for BKK----and YES! I got the Shangri La for GBP 25!!!!!!!! 25 everybody!!!! This is incredible. If the other guy got it for 30, I still had to see how low I could get it. (The pride factor again).
Then lastly I booked the flight (in coach, thank you very much) for EUR 472. Total cost for 8 nights hotel (INCLUDING 17% TAX!) and flight about 850 EUR!
Well done! I congratulate myself.
About 5 days before departure I got an email saying that my connecting flight BKK-HKT had been cancelled and that I was rebooked onto the next flight. Yuck-a three hour layover in BKK. I then determined a new mission- OPERATION "I CAN MAKE THE 1PM FLT 20 MIN AFTER WE LAND"

Well the big day arrived and now the TRIP REPORT starts. (I know some of you are thinking, "FINALLY").

I took the 18.35 S Bahn from Marienplatz to the airport. Of course it was about 3 minutes late. Those of you who believe that the Germans are hard working and that the trains run on time are vicitms of a HUGE PR scam! I arrived at the airport around 19.15 for a 21.10 departure. Yes, I was flying coach, I had to get there early. Why? BECAUSE COACH PEOPLE HAVE TO WAIT IN LINES!!! NO SOUP FOR YOU! So I proceeded to wait in A LINE for about 45 seconds when I gave up and decided to do the Kiosk thing. I didn't know if it would work because I was connecting through BKK to HKT. I stuck my ticket in and was successfully checked in to BKK, but not to HKT. I didn't even try that, as I thought it would help me make the 20 min. connection I needed. Call me naive, but it seems a little much that you can check in with only hand luggage and not show a passport or answer some questions for such a big flight. I bought some books and newspapers (15 EUR for the real Sunday NY Times) and decided to proceed to the gate. I passed the Thai crew and thought, “they look tired.”
After security and a passport check, I wandered around the gate area and I started getting a little nervous. I looked around ---the flight maybe be relatively empty, but some of those seats appeared to be occupied by FAT GERMANS IN SHORTS AND SANDALS WITH SOCKS!!! CHILDREN!! OH NO!! This is all going wrong! This is going to be a loud flight from hell. Such large extended families travelling together--- Grandmothers! Grandchildren! Chickens! (No, no chickens). Huge overflowing sacks as hand luggage! I started to panic. Why would Indians be connecting through Thailand? BECAUSE IT'S SO CHEAP! THE SAME REASON YOU ARE FLYING! Oh no, I had tried to think of everything. DISASTER! IT IS TOO RISKY TO FLY COACH. I looked up heavenward. Gate 7 LTU to Colombo (Sri Lanka) Thank you.
I sat down near MY gate and tried to recover.

June 10 TG 925 MUC-BKK 744 Dep. 21.10

Boarding began at about 20.45 and I tried to get near the front of the line so I could stake out my territory. The crew had transformed into the land of silk and smiles. I put my TUMI 22" EXPANDABLE ROLL-ABORD (SNOB) comfortably in the overhead bin. I then took the seat NEXT to my assigned seat (62G) so that if anyone was thinking about moving it would look as if there was less space available in MY ROW. The pitch actually did seem OK (about 34"). I then claimed two pillows and blankets and spread out my newpapers and books and headphones and things all along MY ROW. THIS SPACE IS OCCUPIED! I silently screamed. Others took their seats too. A little guy in front of me in HIS ROW, a college girl to my right in HER ROW, to my South East a Thai family took their seats, but decided to spread out when they saw that the row behind me was empty. "Watch out Grandma, don't get too close!" Two high school kids on spring break (it's spring here) in THEIR ROW to my left. German parents let their teenagers go to Thailand by themselves. "It’s 10 o’clock, do you know where your kids are?" "Yea, uh... Thailand." Close enough.
This flight was also the first time I would be able to try out my new headphones. I find the constant SSHHHHH on an airplane exhausting and had gotten some noise reducing headphones. Well actually two kinds. The etymotic ear buds and a pair of Sennheiser noise cancelling headphones. My verdict: the Sennheiser ones are very comfortable and the noise reduction is good but could be better, the etymotic has a better sound. The instructions say, “we cannot stress enough how important a tight seal is.” Plain English: shove them as far as possible down your ear canal without requiring a surgeon.
We took off at about 21.25 and were due to land at 12.30 the next day, approx. 10 hrs. flying time. The FA's came around as soon as we reached cruising altitude and offered pre-dinner drinks. I debated what to have and doubted the quality of the COACH WINE and decided on a SINGHA beer. Hey, local culture. When they got to me I ordered my beer, but noticed that they were serving wine from full sized bottles, not those mini individual things. She gave me my beer and I asked what kind of wine they had. She showed me the bottles and asked if I would like to try some. "No thanks, maybe later." I can't remember what they were, just a French red and white. (It reminds me of a time in Delta FIRST to STT when I asked the FA what kind of wine they had. "Uh, we have, uh, red....and....uh, white." What was I expecting? "Well sir, today we have two Italian reds, a Brunello and a Barolo." NOT!)
Dinner came soon afterwards and I was brought my Hindu special meal. It was in my profile on Opodo, because I like spicy food and figure that in coach anything made special must be a notch higher than standard. It was OK: rice (duh), fish, and some vegetables. I did try the french white and it was quite drinkable. I had about five thible –sized glasses. I think there was also a salad, crackers and cheese and fresh fruit for dessert. Edible. They started some TV show on the overheadscreen (no individual seat monitors) and it was only in English, not German, not Thai and I saw that I was the only one watching. On second thought they probably weren't watching because it was so moronic, not because of the language.
After dinner the FA's came through with glasses and a big bottle of Camus cognac to see if there were any takers. "Yes ma'am. I'll have some." Hey, this is kind of like business class. I can just imagine Delta management, "Don't walk through the cabin with something like that! The passengers might actually drink some and then WE'LL HAVE TO BUY ANOTHER BOTTLE!!!"
While watching the screen, I noticed the kids to my left looking at me and around the cabin. What were they plotting? I noticed one had STOLEN one of MY pillows. Those rotten kids! Was Scooby Doo on board too? They were intensely calculating something. I decided to defend myself and lowered the tray table at the end of MY row and put all my newspapers there. The gate is DOWN! The fortress SEALED! I am the master of my domain!
They then carried their blankies and pillows up to the bulkhead row to sleep, but then found out that they arm rests don’t raise there. Foiled! Why did they think no one sat up there? Amateurs!
They came back and decided to stay in THEIR row, one in the seats and one on the floor, but not before one of them STOLE another blanket from me behind my castle wall! The noive.
I had taken a melatonin and drifted off to sleep, taking full advantage of my 4 seats. I managed to get in an incredible six hours of sleep, only interrupted by feeling very hot and by a crying baby .
My Hindu breakfast was served- rice, fruit and curried vegetables and we landed at 12.30.
All in all, it was very successful. I got 4 seats, I slept well and the FA’s were wonderful- ready to serve, and extremely cheerful. The service was first class, not business, FIRST!

June 11, TG 211 BKK-HKT
The next mission was to make the 1pm flight to HKT. Off the plane, I bee-lined straight to a monitor to check for the flight to Phuket. No flight to Phuket. What? Had it been cancelled too?
I went to the transfer desk and stood staring down at an employee who was busy doing something –for a LONG time. I finally said, “Excuse me, are you open?” “Oh yes,” flashing a Thai smile.
“Is there no 1 o’clock flight to Phuket” “It’s already closed sir” “At 12.40? My later flight has been cancelled.”
She took my ticket and called the gate. Hurrah! They could still take me. The gate was only just downstairs and I was going through security again when someone called out, “Phuket!” I waved and proceeded to the gate where a van was waiting to drive me to the plane. We drove way out to a parked plane where the other passengers were only just arriving by bus. I wasn’t late at all.
I got on board and took my seat and looked around for a place to store my luggage. The plane was pretty full and most of the overhead bins were taken. A voice said, “try the ones over there. They’re bigger.” I looked behind me in the middle and there was a free bin and my TUMI 22” expandable wheel-aboard was hoisted in.
“So, where you from?” asked a guy with his neck turned to talk to me in the row BEHIND Him. “Uh, Atlanta originally.” “Oh a southern boy. I’m from the land of fruits and nuts.” I thought, I’ve got to get those headphones on quick!
“Where’s that?” I asked. “Kellogg, Mich.?”, not really trying to be funny.
“No, California.”
I was getting settled in and he went back to his own business.
Anyway, the plane was an AB6 and they served a box lunch of a breaded chicken filet, salad and fruit. The chicken required two of the Heinz Chili Sauce packages. An hour later we landed in Phuket. Elapsed time in BKK: about 40 minutes. The route took us over the beautiful Phng Na Bay of Golden Gun fame. OK US airlines: full service in an hour and 15 minute flight with friendly, helpful FAs.
As we were coming into the gate, I noticed a big white plane with a big red swervy thing on its tail. Is that? Could it be? We pulled around. Yes! Dragon Air. Oh no.
As I deplaned there was a man with a sign with my name on it directing me to the left so that I could pass throught customs. I guess I was the only passenger transfering from an international flight. I went down an escalator to find swarms of people and lots of people with masks on. Oh no, all the Hong Kong people were having their temperature taken. Was I going to have to do this too? No. Hurrah again! I was able to go right up to passport inspection making sure to steer clear of those people with cooties. Not exactly the welcome I had wanted.

I took a taxi straight to the hotel which was great and enjoyed a beautiful 4 days there.

June 15, TG HKT-BKK AB6
I arrived at the airport at 10:45 for a 12:10 departure. Check in was a breeze and I had some time to kill. I saw that there was an internet stand and also a TG desk with agents waiting for customers. As there would be no wait I thought I could just ask a harmless, quick question. “Excuse me, How much would it be to upgrade this return flight?” I handed her my ticket and she looked at some readily available computer printout and said “25someting thousand baht.” About EUR 500. Very intresting, I thought. “And to first class?” (Just a question.) She looked again. Double. Also very interesting. I thanked her and walked away into an inner turmoil. Those were excellent prices, but NO I NEED TO SAVE MONEY! What was I to do? No decisions now, just think about it. After an uneventful flight with friendly, full service, I arrived in BKK and easily got a taxi into town. It was a Sunday and there was no traffic. I checked in and had a nice room on the 21st floor of the Shangri La.
In the course of the few days in BKK I checked on the internet to see how full my reutrn flight would be. It was only a little heavier booked than my outbound. The German school holidays were over that week. Had all the passengers pre-reseved their seats? I started to do the math. How many rows were there? How many seats were already reserved. If people moved around, could we all get our own row? What if the flights to London and Frankfurt were cancelled and everyone was rebooked through MUC? I started to sweat. The variables were too great. It was a daytime flight and I wouldn’t be sleeping much and by those last 2 hours you’re about to go crazy. I called TG and asked how much it would be to upgrade. 19 something thousand Baht. VERY, VERY INTERESTING! About 400 EUR. I was informed that this was only available to their FF members. Could I join? “Certainly, sir.” I had to go to their CTO and join and upgrade before the day of departure. No problem.
Well I of course I read how horrible Thai F and C were, but I thought an empty cabin is worth its weight in Gold. I had seen that the upper deck was about 1 person per row, but the main deck had only 2 reserved seats out of 18. I decided to go for the main deck, as it would be very quiet. So the snob chickens-out. When would it ever only cost 400 EUR to upgrade again? I beat coach on the outbound, but it is much too risky being back there. Anything could happen. Delays, babys, stinkys, who knows?

June 19 TG 924 BKK-MUC 744
I was worried about traffic to the airport and allowed an hour, but it only took about 30 minutes. I checked in to another smiling employee WITHOUT WAITING and went straight through passport control. I went to the business lounge which was not crowded and was well stocked with drinks and dried-out puff pastry things.
After the lounge you then go through security before getting to the gate area. Boarding began for the elderly and babies, then first, business and *Gold. There was a separate jetway for first and business. As expected most people headed upstairs and I took my seat 23A in an empty cabin. Later a sickly elderly man took his seat acompanied by his guardian who sat across the aisle from him. The elderly man basically slept the whole way. Two FA were assigned to this cabin of three passengers. One was asleep the whole time, so that’s basically one FA for me all to myself. I can only say that the service was sublime. They would do anything I asked. The way the aircraft is configured they set up a little bar for self sevice of drinks(incl. wine) and snacks which I think is terrific. I think if I had started with a Bloody Mary they would have left a bottle of vodka up there too. Since I just drank wine that’s what they put up there along with water and soft drinks. Anyway I could list the menu which sounded much more interesting that it actually tasted, but this report is too long already. The quantity was good (3 services), but the quality was average. The fresh mangostines were delicious. I’ll probably post the pictures on airlinemeals.net. The seats were old fashioned, but comfortable. The recline is bad. I’m sure they will be upgraded in the next year. I had a Sony Video Watchman and watched two movies. We had a flying time of 10.45 and it went by very quickly.
All in all I can only say that the TG service was exemplary. Yes the airplanes need to be updated. I can’t believe I thought twice about paying to upgrade. I had a private cabin!


[This message has been edited by elsie (edited 06-21-2003).]

[This message has been edited by elsie (edited 06-21-2003).]

[This message has been edited by elsie (edited 06-22-2003).]