No, you cannot use your upgrades on Award tickets.

As far as baggage, as an elite, you get two free checked bags whether using your miles or hers. If she's on the same reservation as you, then she also gets the same allowance.

But it may not matter here. Both coach AAnytime awards and First saver awards are also exempt.

https://www.aa.com/i18n/utility/baggageExceptions.jsp

Remember that 2 one way awards don't cost more miles than a single roundtrip. So if you decide to use 50K from each account, you can keep on the same reservation by using her miles for 2 tickets for the outbound, and your miles for 2 tickets for the return.

For your upcoming trip overseas, even non-status pax get 1 or 2 free checked bags to most destinations.