No-nonsense schoolmarm
For the first time in memory, both Hunnybear and I had confirmed upgrades on the hated United Shuttle flight from Las Vegas back to Los Angeles so I called the 1K line and asked for seats together, which were granted grudgingly by the rep on the other end. We packed and had time for one last visit to the concierge lounge before leaving Caesars. We got coffee and asked the concierge to make sure our balance was zero and then check us out. As an afterthought I said, “Don’t perform action (B) unless the outcome of action (A) is successful.” She confirmed the zero balance and even printed out a statement with nothing on it.
We schlepped through the casino out to the front and found a limo to take us to the airport. We got dropped at Ground Zero, gave the elderly driver a generous tip, and headed through security and out the tram to the United gates, the farthest in the airport. There was no line but an intimidating maze of ropes in front of the counter staffed by two unsmiling agents. We checked in with a no-nonsense schoolmarm who asked us the security questions, looked annoyed that we were upgrading, and asked me how we were going to pay for the upgrades. I replied mine was complimentary because I was a 1K. Now she was really annoyed. “I know that. I was asking how she was going to pay.”
“I will pay for her upgrade with a paper certificate,” I said. She demanded my Mileage Plus number. “Isn’t it in your computer?” I asked. Apparently it was on another screen and she couldn’t be bothered to look it up so she again demanded it. I was concerned about upgrades being deducted from my account so I said, “This is a transferable, purchasable upgrade so you shouldn’t need any number.” She sighed like I was just another in a string of unpleasant customers ruining her day. “I’ll just put her number in.” She grabbed the cert and slapped down the gold boarding passes. I took them and got away from her as quickly as possible.
The plane we were on arrived 20 minutes before our scheduled departure time. They turned it around quickly and we boarded right after some unaccompanied minors. We sat in 2A and B and watched as all the passengers filed past us. This Shuttle had the new cloth seats with the adjustable headrest that is extremely uncomfortable in the down position, digging into my shoulder blades. Legroom was minimal: in fact the first row of economy had better legroom than either row of First Class. There was no preflight drink service. We taxied out to the ramp and the pilot announced we had an 11-minute hold for air traffic in LA. We took off 11 minutes later and a very nice stewardess brought us Starbucks coffee in Styrofoam cups and water in plastic ones. We even got seconds on coffee during the flight, which landed early and got us to the gate a couple minutes ahead of schedule despite the delay.
We docked at gate 81 and went out the secret door to the taxi stand, where we waited no more than five minutes for a ride back to our rarely visited home in Marina del Rey.
The end.
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I hope you enjoy my Lion Tales. For photos, past travelogues, subscriptions, and more, see
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[This message has been edited by QuietLion (edited 06-26-2001).]