Huff and Puff

I got up well before my 6:30 wakeup call and spent the time writing before going down to breakfast at 7:15. Because I was an honored guest I got a sit-down breakfast at Rossini’s instead of the usual buffet. I had a salmon steak and several glasses of watermelon juice. I checked out—the bill, $120 plus 17% tax and service, was as much as it had cost for six nights at Sand Inn—and at 8:00 got a taxi-meter to the airport. The fare was 171 plus 70 baht for the tollways. The driver made a face and mentioned several times that I should give him a tip. I gave him a few baht’s round-up but he made another face and drove off. I could have given him an extra 50 baht or so, not much more than a dollar, but that is not the custom here and I do not like to reward tip hustling.

There was no First Class checkin for Cathay Pacific so I went to the empty Business Class line and promptly got invitations to the First Class lounge in both Bangkok and Hong Kong airports. I paid the 500-baht departure fee and found the lounge in the main corridor near the gates. It was nothing special so I waited there a few minutes and then boarded when called.

I had seat 12C, the bulkhead aisle on this Airbus 330. Jim and Ellen were of course seated right behind me. The flight was smooth and on time. For lunch we were offered a cold sliced-duck appetizer, which was pretty good, and a choice of veal or fish, which I declined along with the walnut cake offered for dessert, which as a rule I don’t eat. I did have a couple glasses of champagne.

Upon landing in Hong Kong I was able to get Jim and Ellen into the First Class Lounge, where I caught up on FlyerTalk and email. Our 747 was docked mercifully close to the lounge so we went down at the last minute and I settled into my First Class seat 3A while they went upstairs. I asked for a USA Today as my flight attendant Margaret brought me a Manhattan and another slice of duck. They didn’t have any USA Todays so I asked if it was possible to get a copy from the lounge. Margaret said she’d see what she could do. A few minutes later she returned huffing and puffing with the paper, which I wanted to read to see what was happening in the Microsoft appeal. I told her she was my new best friend and thanked her profusely.

There was a slight delay while they off-loaded baggage from some missing customers but when we took off it was a quick 11:30 flight time to Los Angeles. I started off watching Pay It Forward with Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt, and Haley Joel Osment, a great movie for an hour and 54 minutes until they ruined it with a ridiculous ending. I got the full dinner service: a large helping of superb smoked salmon and Sevruga caviar followed by an average slab of beef. Naturally I passed on dessert.

For the second movie I turned to Adam’s Rib, a classic Tracy/Hepburn vehicle, and then I watched Nurse Betty, a wacky comedy with the beautiful Renée Zellweger. It was by then time to sleep so I converted the Betsy into a bed, changed into my sleep suit, and before I knew it we were on our descent into LA. I had mercifully missed breakfast.

We landed right on time at LAX and taxied to the farthest possible gate from baggage claim, taking a dozen consecutive moving walkways to finally arrive at immigration. I got no hassle returning to my own country and my bags were first off the plane. Two separate customs agents wanted to have a long jolly talk with me about my occupation, or lack thereof, but eventually let me through. I made it past the agricultural inspector with relative ease and a sullen cabbie smelling of lunch, who probably had been called by the Bangkok driver to warn him about me, drove me quickly home. I gave him a generous tip. It had been raining in LA for a week and the walkways in my apartment were full of dead and dying earthworms. I weaved through them and unpacked until the next adventure.

The end.

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