I know Quietlion. I am a friend of Quietlion. But I, sir, am no Quietlion. Nevertheless, there have been a few notes of interest from my recent soiree to the far east that I file here as a matter of course.

1) Upon checking in for my IAD-LAX-NRT-BKK flight, my NRT-BKK had still not cleared. The agent at the International First Class/1k check-in claimed that this meant that if my upgrade cleared at the gate in Tokyo, I would be asked to surrender a second Systemwide or intra-asia miles from my MP account for that segment. I told her that I was pretty sure that that particular FUBAR policy had been rescinded and asked her to check with a supervisor about that. 15 minutes later, she was noting in the PNR that a cert had been collected at IAD and that no more should be expected from me should the NRT-BKK clear.

2) Thanks to Wingless for meeting me for a Pepsi during my layover at LAX. Always such a treat to be greeted and escorted to my connecting gate by such a charming ‘concierge.’

3) A volcanic eruption in the Aleutian Islands required an in-flight reroute LAX-NRT that resulted in something less than an arc across the Pacific that resulted in a 1.5 hour late arrival in NRT. And I thought I had experienced every delay there is to suffer through. Now I guess I can add “Volcano” to that list. By the way, the flight seemed mercifully short to me thanks to Beckles excellent suggestion of trying the (totally addictive) game Age of Empires. Oh, and I got to watch Remember the Titans ONE MORE TIME!

4) Arriving so late in NRT, the boarding for UA875 NRT-BKK was just about to begin as I came upon the gate. There was a line of about 30 people at the desk and I took a spot in the back of it. But this particular line did not move. The gate agents appeared to be doing their best impression of the Marx Brothers doing an impression of the 3 Stooges. The person in front of me in line was trying to get on the flight S.A. He had been trying for 3 days. I told him he was nutz and that he ought to fly to SIN and buy a cheap TG flight up to BKK. When the gate agent announced that no S.A’s would be accommodated on this flight about 10 people fell out of line. I mentioned to a couple as they sulked off that they ought to contact management about the pathetic capacity that UA now has to BKK. My helpful suggestion was met uniformly with unfriendly glares. Finally they started calling out names (at this point I was about in the middle of the line despite the fact that the line hadn’t moved with the exception of the departing S.A. hopefuls and the plane was in “final boarding process.” ) My name was the first called and after forcing my way to the front of the “line” I was given a boarding pass for a window business class seat toward the back of the rear section of Business. I asked about changing my seat and based on the reaction on the lady’s face, I simply gave a Thai bow and beat a hasty retreat. On my boarding pass the words “Cert collected at IAD” were printed in blue felt tip marker in the upper left hand area . I slept the whole way to Bangkok where I spent waaaaay too much money for a Classic Thai massage at about 2am local time.

5) I met Uncle 1k at the TG Domestic lounge early the next morning (well, it seemed both early AND late, as a matter of fact). We shared the excellent business class service down to HKT. I know I sound like a broken record on this, but I LOVE TG.

6) We stayed at the Holiday Inn Resort. Next time I’ll stay at QL’s Sand Inn. The H.I. was nice, but not in the spirit of Phuket.

7) The only detail I’ll add to QL’s description of that evening is to mention his fascination with the Vienna Boys Choir version of Beetles and Rolling Stones songs playing on the ubiquitous speakers at the bar at the H.I. He giggled like a schoolgirl over the interpretations. Oh, and Mike is a great guy. Conversation with the two of them is a true pleasure.

8) Uncle1k and my flight back to BKK was delayed by two hours. During that delay we were offered a free drink at the bar, a free sandwich and a free soda. It occurred to me that if UA offered such luxuries every time there was a 2 hour delay they would go broke in a month. We ended up unexpectedly upstairs on the 747-400. We did notice on the way out that the business class cabin downstairs has a divider running down the center of the cabin, making the business class seem like two 757s next to each other rather then a single 747. Odd.

9) I will never pre-reserve a hotel in BKK again. Upon our return to BKK, I went over to the BKK hotel reservation desk at the airport and asked for a hotel near Pat Pong. I ended up at the Mandarin, a fairly nice three star hotel for 1500 Baht (about $35). The joint compared favorably to the Hilton where I had paid $125 two nights before. AND it was near the “action.” By action, I mean the 2 hours of haggling over 3 fake Rolexes that cost me 2000 Baht ($15 per watch, 50% more then my goal) but also cost me my meeting with Uncle1k at SuperGirl’s! Sorry Uncle1k!!!

10) I sat in coach early the next morning on UA876 BKK-NRT. I watched the upgrade process carefully with the help of one of the Thai gate agents, and if there had been one more Business Class seat it would have been mine. Buddhism teaches that such trials instill humility and, in turn, strength. Six hours later, I was six hours stronger. Of course, being in 30B on the 777 helped salve the sting, as did the next 8 hours in 15G on the 747 NRT-LAX. That flight was a pleasure. I stayed up for all of it but the last 2 hours and while the rest of the cabin slept I chatted with the FA’s, one of whom was younger then me and NOT language qualified. Turned out she was an international reserve. Here is the difference between TG and UA FA’s: TG Fas smile.

Coming up: Cluster-lovemade at LAX, or: How I learned to stop complaining and love Metrojet…