Chicken flight

We got up early to meet Larry and Shirley for our final breakfast on the beautiful Explorer of the Seas. I had my usual two orders of smoked salmon while Larry ordered a sampling of all the menu items. Everybody was talking about the election. We overheard a mother at the next table say, “Do you know what a chad is, Brad?” After breakfast we said our goodbyes and by the time I had packed people were already disembarking. For the first time ever on a cruise we were told that if we wanted to carry out own bags off the ship we could exit at our leisure so we wheeled our luggage right off the boat with no waiting whatsoever! On most cruises this is one of the most painful parts of the journey but on the Explorer it was as easy as could be.

We grabbed a cab to Miami airport with no waiting ($18 flat rate plus tip) and headed to the United counter to check in. Because we were three hours early for the flight there were no customers in any line. The one agent on duty checked us in, took our upgrade certs without lecturing us on which type of certs we must use, and gave us boarding passes for our preassigned seats. I asked for a pass to the Red Carpet Club because we had a three-hour wait but he said it was not one of the tools he had available. So I asked for a pass to the International First Class Lounge but that was also not possible. I thanked him and we headed for the Red Carpet Club to see if we could get in.

I presented my 1K card, Safeway Club card, and expired Red Carpet Club card to the agent who informed me that my card was expired. I reluctantly ended my boycott and told her to renew it. The form said $200 so I crossed it out and wrote $150 because that’s what the letter from United said it cost for a 1K. She gave me an ugly temporary card and we went in. The Miami Red Carpet Club had better-than-average food and drink. Liquor was free but only existed after noon and we were leaving just before noon but we availed ourselves of yummy cheese and crackers and plenty of soda as we watched the projection TV and checked email.

Our flight home connected in Chicago. The first leg was supposed to be a 727 so we were surprised when we boarded and found an Airbus 320. Fortunately there were enough First Class seats that we didn’t get bumped in spite of the two uniformed pilots who sat in F instead of a complaining Premier Executive who was denied an upgrade. As usual on a narrowbody there was no preflight drink service. In flight, though, we got great service from purser Cliff on this two-and-one-half-hour flight. Hunnybear ordered stir-fried chicken and I ordered filet mignon. Following LarryU’s advice I ordered it rare with crushed peppercorns but Cliff just laughed and said he’d take it out of the oven as soon as he could but it still arrived well done. I had a glass of the Louis Martini cabernet to accompany. As a rule I don’t eat dessert but Cliff recommended the Eli’s chocolate cheesecake which turned out to be a delicious mousse cake that had little to do with cheese. He brought around a selection of liqueurs after dinner do I had just one glass of Drambuie on the rocks. Despite the A320 having a video system Cliff didn’t show any video because he said they weren’t allowed to if the originally scheduled equipment wasn’t showing video—part of United’s customer-repellent program.

We landed just a bit late in Chicago and walked from gate E2A all the way to B16. By the time we got there we didn’t have time to go to the Red Carpet Club because they were already pre-boarding. This leg was a new two-class 777 and we had the two primo seats in the center of row 1 for a good view of the movie. Actually the view wasn’t as great as it could have been because the luminance of the screen was poor and the focus was a little off. Nonetheless, we enjoyed Chicken Run, the first decent recently released film I’d seen on United in ages. Service was superb on this flight although purser Marina seemed a little stressed out by the large F cabin and was having loud conversations with her staff throughout the entire flight about the service procedures. If Disney ran an airline no customer would ever overhear a conversation like that because it would take away from the magic.

We sat on the ground for over an hour before takeoff but as soon as we took off the crew started serving us drinks. There was no question what Hunnybear and I would order for dinner because they had lamb chops, the all-time best domestic airline meal. Appetizer was the yucky Westphalian ham wrapped in asparagus,. Then the lamb chops arrived—a huge portion cooked perfectly and served with yummy parsnips. We were fat and happy when they wheeled around the Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream sundaes but I had one anyway with a little Kahlua poured over it even though as a rule I don’t eat dessert. We did pass on the Mrs. Fields though, notwithstanding their being the oatmeal-raisin ones Hunnybear loves. Hot towels concluded a delightful flight.

We landed at the end of Terminal 6 but baggage claim was in Terminal 7. By the time we got there bags were just starting to come out—not the priority-tagged ones, but the others. Five minutes and dozens of bags later, our First Class whales came out and we wheeled them to a long taxi line. It moved very quickly though and before we knew it we were in a cab headed home to rest up for another adventure.

The end.


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