The next morning, I discover I have two bags of Decaff coffee and NO CAFFEINE!! I immediately call front desk. They allow as how they have coffee setup I the lobby. I allow as how that’s delightful I’m sure, but I’M NOT IN THE LOBBY! They send someone to my room with coffee. I do the computer-on-the-floor thing to check email, don my Rena Rowan suit with a GAP t-shirt, and we’re off!

We have directions to the client – newly located in a new “technology” center. After driving by the street number in both directions and not finding it, we surmise it must be in the big mall-looking structure that appears to be under construction. We drive around it seeing no sign of inhabitants, only to find it in the back of what used to be the Baton Rouge Mall. They’ve been in it 6 days, are the first tenet, and the place stinks of formaldehyde from new carpet and upholstery. This irritates my contacts, and I can hardly see for the entire meeting. Imagine: a middle-aged woman, with frizzy hair ‘cause there was no conditioner in the room, dressed in an expensive suit and a cheap t-shirt, squinting like Mr. McGoo. This does not portend well. There are six of us in the meeting, but I needed multimedia (internet access and screen projection), so we’re ushered into their new training room – designed to hold 150 people! The last time I had a room this empty was the day I taught “chemistry lab safety procedures for non-science majors” as a professor’s assistant. But we prevail and the meeting was a huge success. I guess my wardrobe counts for less than I thought – and that’s a good thing! We adjourn at noon local time and our flight isn’t until 3pm.

Lunch? Maybe something French? Ha! We do finally find a lovely (!) establishment called “Crayfish City”. In spite of the name, the buffet has only one fish selection, and it looked terrible, so I choose red meat in the form of a WELL cooked roast beef ( I figured it had cooked for at least 9 hours, judging by the similarity to shoe leather). The uptick here was a marginally acceptable “homemade” bread pudding with lemon sauce. I don’t doubt it was homemade – any commercial vendor would have never put anything that icky on the market! So we eat – sortof - and would have been just as satisfied with Solyent Green. We take advantage of the space to make phone calls, rehash our morning meeting, and at 1:30, decide we’d be just as happy at the airport.

On our return, we go into the plywood sided building largely labeled “ticketing” – set apart from the rest of the terminal due to construction. Alas, Delta remains unimpressed with my status there, and we are placed in 15 A and C, thankful that they aren’t middle seats.

The second time I watch the Delta boarding process, I realize that Delta does one thing really better that USAIR. When they pre-board first class – they pre-board ONLY first class. Then they pause. Only after they assume those folks are actually in their seats do they then board their elite FF passengers. On US, pre-boarding is for first, as well as for folks with small children, and Silver, Gold, and Chairman’s Preferred customers. So it’s usually a hassle stowing luggage, getting into the FC seats, while being run over by folks trying to get into the coach section. US could learn from DL here!

The flight is a 727 with one stop in Mobile. Good news! The middle seat between us remains open! It’s 35 minutes gate to gate from BTR to Mobile, so no drink service. They tell us they “discourage” leaving the plane, as we will depart for ATL in 20 minutes. I figure that’s 20 minutes I could be smoking! So we deplane, run outside, smoke a cigarette and re-board. Again, in spite of tons of folks boarding in Mobile, our middle seat remains open! This time we get Delta’s “fast break” service, which I despise. It’s now 4pm central time and I need CAFFEINE! But not this time – it’s lemonade, cranapple, or water. I despise this program.

We get to circle ATL for a while (“it’s the busiest airport in the world, folks!”), but get to the B concourse around 6:45.. only 15 minutes late. No matter to us – we’re through with Delta!! So we amble to the closest addict cage (welcome to ATL), then on to Houlihan’s in the terminal area for some Quiche and Onion soup for dinner. I don’t recommend either. The Bombay was quite wonderful.

We take the airport tram to concourse D for our 8:30 flight and arrive in time for pre-boarding on my standard 737 – seems I fly that plan all the time. There are only four folks in FC, and only about 25 in coach. It’s a smooth flight to CLT – complete with coffee, Bailey’s, and a comfortable seat. The attendant remembers us from yesterday and was very friendly. We deplane in CLT and have now an hour and a half wait for the flight to HKY. Yes, I know it’s only an hour’s drive. But we had wanted as much “in office” time as possible on Monday, thus the HKY departure. We could have had a limo pick us up, but we’re in cost-control mode. So it’s off to Cheer’s for a smoke and and a Bombay!

We board the baby plane back to HKY – time at arrival being 10:55. After walking 40 yards, I fire up the car, drive home – hey I made it by 11:10! Feed the cat, pour another Bailey’s, read two pages out of my book, and crash HARD.

All in all – 7 hours to get from BTR to HKY. Good thing all days aren’t like the last two. You know, I used to wonder why all auditors and consultants were so young! If yesterday bears any resemblance to their life, I now know! I’m too old for this!

Today, I was up and at ‘em for an 8am conference call… life continues.

Next week it's Cincinnati! How do I get so lucky?