Butterfly

The Thais enjoy talking about family relationships and unusually sized body parts. I can’t count the number of conversations we had with various waiters, clerks, and taxi drivers about the fact that Mike was nong chai and I was pee chai—younger and older brothers. Why was I picking up the check? Pee chai! “Oh, pee chai!” All was understood. Many of the playful younger Thais liked to comment on our pum pui—round bellies. Thais all have perfectly flat abdomens without an ounce of extra fat on them. They find it very amusing that Americans waltz in more than a couple of pounds overweight. They find many things amusing. Amusing Thailand.

It rained on and off all day today. We stayed in the hotel all morning working, watching TV, and playing computer games, then headed out for lunch and a walk during a break in the rain. Mike had heard about an apartment building called Phuket Grand Condotel so we walked over there to see if they had a suitable place for him to spend a few weeks. We met a Hungarian-Austrian who showed us a couple rooms and then recommended a Thai-Chinese restaurant that served escargot-mussels. We took a cab over to Lair Le Tong, nestled at the end of the unmarked Soi Wattana where the clinic of Dr. Wattana was located. The Thai escargot (mussels) were an interesting novelty but the shrimp fried in garlic was a 10. Our waiter couldn’t remember three dishes ordered by his only table and we had to remind him. With three seafood dishes the check-BEEN came to 350 baht ($9).

After lunch we slowly walked down the beach road looking into several of the hotels. Almost all of them are on the opposite side of the road from the beach. The one or two that are on the beach are outrageously expensive. All the hotels had standard, superior, and deluxe rooms. We asked what the difference was and one place told us “more facility.” When Mike asked what that meant, the clerk replied “facility is more.” I told Mike I bet that translated into “upgraded amenities.”

We walked by a place that gave foot massages. Mike had been wanting one so we went in. I was going to wait while he had his, since as a rule I don’t get massages, but I decided to take the plunge. What followed was 50 minutes of rubbing, prodding, and tickling of my tender feet. I only cried out in pain a couple dozen times. When it was over my feet felt refreshed, like I’d rested them for an hour.

We strolled back to Sand Inn and cleaned up for dinner. Tonight we decided to try another place operated by the owners of Ban Rim Pa: Da Maurizio, an Italian restaurant right next door. We saw in an ad that they had a complimentary limo so we asked the clerk at the front desk to call and have them pick us up at 7:30. Sure enough an air-conditioned van pulled up shortly before 7:30 and whisked us to the spot in the northwest corner of Patong underneath the Novotel. We were shown to a table 12 inches from the beach on a planked platform underneath a thatched roof. Spotlights illuminated waves crashing thunderously over smooth and jagged rocks. This has to be one of the best settings in the world for a restaurant. It was so beautiful that my first thought was of sharing it with Hunnybear. My next thought was of Rudi and PremEx in Wengen. I ordered a sidecar and toasted them. It tasted like a margarita. Is it supposed to?

We started with an assortment of baked shellfish, which was good. Next we split an order of very nice risotto with rock lobster and saffron. For the secondo, I ordered imported Dutch veal parmigiana while Mike had a delicious beef dish, thinly sliced and simmered in rosemary and white wine. Like Ban Rim Pa, this place was expensive even by Western standards. The bill came to 4411 baht ($113) including the mandatory 10% tip. We found the complimentary limo and got a ride back to Sand Inn, where we hopped across the street to the Rock and had a nightcap with Nung, the “tom” bartender. She had a cow-colored Band-Air® brand adhesive bandage under her eye. I asked her what had happened.

“Lay-DEE, not understand, think I am butterfly,” she said, flipping her palms up as if to say, “what can you do?” To the Thais, “butterfly” is the code word for a man who hops from flower to flower, cross-pollinating. Apparently she had a lovers’ spat.

Once you get out of North America all they ever show on TV is soccer. We watched Czech Republic tie up the score with Italy as the hours marched on.


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