You take that back, Newself!!! You clearly weren't paying attention:
1) At no time did I pass out in an awkward place and position. In fact, I pretty much stayed up all night.
2) I didn't take a single shot of anything. I'm pretty much a hops and barley or grapes kinda guy.
3) I managed to not lose my cell phone, my glasses or "other things."
4) I wasn't able to fool a single person into thinking I am a connisuer or fine wines.
5) You could fit two Auh2os in my pants...one in each leg.
Saying I'm an east-coast Auh2o is like saying Chris Farley is an east coast Chris Rock...