UA 1477 BWI-ORD. I had 10A on a 767-300 (or so res had it), but when I got to the gate they'd changed equipment to a -200, and reassigned me to the wayback of the plane. Of course they knew what I would do, I upgraded. Despite the fact there was no food on the flight. The 762 was much less comfy
than the usual - there aren't any overhead air vents, and the seats are getting threadbare and thin. It was, though, a perfectly okay flight.
UA 143 ORD-SFO. I'd never flown coach on a DC-10, and even though the gate agent virtually guaranteed I'd get upgraded at ORD if I wanted, I decided to keep my row 10 seat, just to see what it was like. Mistake. They switched equipment again, from a 10-10 to a -30, so instead of an exit row with

about 5 feet of legroom I found myself behind the lavatory, albeit still in the first row of coach. And the lav wasn't working, owing to it leaking, which made this part of the cabin smell less than fine. Lunch was brisket (pretenderized, somewhat tasteless), garlic mashed potatoes (excellent,

surprisingly), succotash, and two Oreo cookies for dessert. Once I learned to ignore the smell of leaking disinfectant with a faint urinary tinge, it was an okay flight. Turns out, too, that the seat I would have gotten was given to an elderly lady who plays the viola, so I didn't feel too bad.

UA 954 SFO-LHR. This tale starts at the RCC in the International Departures area. I decided to check out the Lufthansa lounge, to which I am theoretically allowed admittance. The concierge challenged me, saying in a thick German accent that I must go to the RCC. I said, well, can I just have a