When my kids were younger we went FC LAX-EWR on CO. I like to believe that they were well behaved compared to what you describe. If they hadn't been, I would have taken them out on the wing until they had calmed down and then brought them back inside.

Seriously, this democratization of FC is disconcerting. A lot of parents don't discipline their kids at all. For a baby, of course, this is impossible, but I do resent it nevertheless.