My experience at LAX (July 2003):

1. Get on bus.
2. Identify yourself to the bus driver. He's equipped with a PDA to identify the Gold members.
3. Get off bus. Find your name on the board to get to your car. My car was in the first aisle too, so from bus to car, all up about 20 seconds. Half of it was trying to find my name on the board.
4. Spent the next 5 minutes trying to familise myself to the car, scan through the contract, look for any dents/problems and learn to use Neverlost.
5. Remember to keep right (having driven on the other side of the road most of my life).
6. Drive to exit - show licence, sign contract.
7. On to LA highway...

All up 10 minutes, which I'm sure is slow as hell. I've done it a lot faster at smaller airports...