How does one write a funny TR when nothing goes wrong?

As our hair is turning grey (Mine anyway. She sees a lady once a month and has hair color not found in nature.) As we age, tolerance for adventure diminishes. So we took a geezer tour to Turkey. Grand Circle. At 68 I was among the youngest.

Grand Circle is geared to the elderly (and heeled) tourist. Instead of cradle to grave, their care is from incoming flight to return flight. They schlep the bags, make the reservations, arrange the wake-up calls, and herd the tourists from destination to destination.

Even the tour bus lowered itself so the dodderers wouldn't have to make a long step. One wonders if the bus drivers have low-rider meets when the tourists are away?

The GC guide is a candidate for sainthood. One day of dealing with geriatric tourists would've had me distributing b1tch-slaps. A short-range radio earpiece kept all the cats in the herd. Our tireless guide delivered a college education on Anatolian culture religion and politics from 4000 B.C. to yesterday. From Hittites to Greeks to Ataturk.

But what of adventure? No missed connections. No trying to find a friend's house at 3:00 AM in Cairo. No bailing from the tour to stay in a backpacker hostel and hike the Inca trail. No being stranded on a dirt runway off the Mosquito Coast with a broken airplane. While these past adventures make great stories, I am grateful that traveling with Grand Circle didn't add to my repertory. Am getting too old for that merde.