I was recently on the phone with a heavy accented United rep (where I have no status) attempting to book a triple connection routing on an awesome fare to PDX. The agent simply could not understand why I wouldn't want to fly with 1 stop opposed to 3, so he kept reading me back the most logical get-to-your-destinations options. After several "but sir" interjections we were getting nowhere.

When I explained that I was interested in routing through different cities to earn more miles there was a long silence followed by square one.

When I could finally give the agent my return date/ time (same day run where I was at my destination for <50 minutes), he put me on hold presumably to nudge his co-workers about how insane Mr. JewJetter was. By the time we priced the ticket, the fare bucket inventory was exhausted and the trip was history.

Most people simply cannot comprehend why a person would book a 14 hour 5 airport tour of all the Aunt Anne's around the country.

What do you say on the phone to explain yourself to MR infidels?