People recently in Japan will likely have airborne radioactive particles fall on their head and outer clothes shortly before they leave. After customs their next stop in the US will be the TSA checkpoint, where the nice TSOs will give the folks whole outer body grope downs, thus gathering up the radioactive dust onto their gloves (by static electricity) and then onto themselves.

Thanks to all the TSOs at international airports for being the Front Line in the War on Fukushima Fallout. You are finally doing something that actually makes the Homeland™ safer. I'll be sure to nominate you all for a Darwin Award. ^