In Canada the general procedure is that you step on a randomize mat. If it points in one direction you go through the regular metal detector. If it points in the other direction you pass through more rigorous screening. If you go to the thorough screening you may choose to use the scanner or pat down. Most reports of pat-downs in Canada indicate they are less "intimate" than the American version.
In Canada you have the right to leave the screening at anytime if you choose not to fly that day.
You may want to contact the airline and see if any arrangements can be made on your daughters behalf.
German and Italian screening are generally reported as roughly equal to its Canadian counterparts although I have not read any reports about refusing screening in Europe.
As always there are always exceptions to the standard. Stand your ground and do not be intimidated.