I'm not sure why Southwest boarding is worse than any other? Basically you line up and board in the order you checked in, and the folks are invariably disciplined, without pushing and shoving. If you don't want to check in yourself at exactly T-24, they'll do it for you for a smallish fee.

Once on board you're no more likely to sit next to an ugly person, than if you had a pre-assigned seat from AA, in fact if you have a lowish number, you'll have a lot of choice in your traveling companion(s) - for grins you could try googling for Kyla Ebbert!