Brilliant!

Make a few requests: "Oh yeah, right there!" "Could you get my right shoulder blade, then an inch toward the center? I can never quite get that spot." "Don't just rub - scratch hard!"

The ultimate would be to stumble straight into the airport after a hunting trip or something similar - no bath - no change - plenty of suspicious chemicals clinging to your cloths and skin.

Why make it easy for them? More people should just trip through the line in their all-American glory, covered in scary nitrates, stinking of beer and uncleansed from their labors.